Three hilarious books in one from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author on marriage, motherhood, and the absurdities of suburban life.  If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? is Erma Bombeck’s timelessly witty look at the hidden side of married life.Motherhood captures one of the toughest jobs on earth with humor and heart.The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank is Bombeck’s take on the unforgiving frontier of American suburbia.

Although no one has ever said that growing old is a zany laugh riot, humor certainly eases the path to and through one’s golden years. And here is a heaping dose of jokes and anecdotes (anecdotes for one’s anec-dotage, you might say) to lighten and brighten the day of anyone who’s reached that certain age. You and the special senior in your life will laugh at jokes about a wide range of subjects, including . . .One-Liners: ?I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” ?Andy RooneyMemory: A senior citizen driving on the highway received a cell phone call from his wife. ?Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” The husband replied, ?I know, but there isn’t just one?there are hundreds!”Sex and the Senior: An eighty-two-year-old man went to his doctor for a physical. A few days later the doctor saw him walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.Several days later the doctor spoke to his patient and commented, ?You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”The man replied, ?I’m just doing what you said, Doc??Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’”The doctor said, ?I didn't say that. I said, ?You’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.’”Belly Laughs is a ?lode” of fun for the young at heart of all ages, especially the golden age. Remember this bit of sage advice: ?If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.”

The lord of snark, Lawrence Dorfman, is back! With this treasury of backhanded compliments, sarcastic insults, and catty comebacks, Dorfman gives us transformative wisdom that’s sure to change your life?or at least induce a light chuckle.One question plagues us all: How do we survive all the Sturm und Drang of everyday life? The answer is but one word: snark.?She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on by a pitchfork.” ?Jonathan Swift?Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.” ?P. G. Wodehouse?He’s a mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.” ?Tom Waits?They hardly make ’em like him anymore?but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.” ?Hunter S. Thompson?He has a Teflon brain . . . nothing sticks” ?Lily Tomlin?He has no more backbone than a chocolate éclair.” ?Theodore RooseveltSnark will keep the wolves at bay (or at least out on the porch). Snark, much like a double scotch, will help you deal with relatives, shopping, and rudeness; it is an outlet for the unleashed vitriolic bile that’s saved itself up over the months. Like a shield, it will protect you while you go about your life. Snark is your answer!

“Thurber is. . . a landmark in American humor. . . he is the funniest artist who ever lived.” — New RepublicJames Thurber spent most of his career at the New Yorker magazine, drawing cartoons and writing essays and stories. Collecting Himself is a one-of-a-kind compilation of James Thurber's vintage writings, featuring previously unanthologized articles, essays, interviews, reviews, cartoons, parodies, as well as Thurber's reflections on his work in theater and at the New Yorker. An eclectic body of work that offers a glimpse into Thurber the man, the philosopher, and the critic.

The three-time Edgar Award–winning Grand Master of Mystery serves up a dangerous case of mistaken identity in “the best spy comedy I have ever read” (The New York Times).   J. Eugene Raxford is not what anyone would call a debonair man of action. He has no class, no skills, and all the physical prowess of a napping tree sloth. James Bond would think twice before letting him park the Aston Martin.   Though he is a devoted pacifist, Raxford is also—thanks to a tragically consequential typo—the supposed leader of a half-baked and violent radical organization. That’s why the FBI wants him to go undercover and spy on the consortium of real-life terrorists and deadly assassins.   Now, with the help of his girlfriend—who is even more clueless than he—Raxford is about to enter a realm of danger and deception unlike any he has ever imagined. And the safety of the entire world depends on his every move.   “If the suspense doesn’t kill you, the laughter will.” —The Atlanta Journal-Constitution   “Inventive . . . Wholly delightful.” —The New York Times   “No writer can excel Donald E. Westlake . . . but he has excelled himself . . . If you miss it, you’ll regret it.” —Los Angeles Times  Praise for Donald E. Westlake “Westlake has no peer in the realm of comic mystery novelists.” —San Francisco Chronicle

“Noted linguist Lederer (Anguished English) has a naughty side, which . . . makes this collection of wordplays a bawdily noteworthy achievement.” —Publishers WeeklyHave some fun with your native tongue!In The Cunning Linguist, renowned language expert Richard Lederer shows us the naughtier side of wordplay, revealing hundreds of hilarious, ingenious, unabashed, and adults-only puns, jokes, limericks, one-liners, and other adventures in sexual humor. This book of “good, clean dirty fun” will delight word hounds, punsters, bachelor-party goers, and anyone who likes a clever grown-up joke.Here’s a taste of The Cunning Linguist:Q: What does a man have in his pants that you can also find on a pool table?A: Pockets.Have you heard about the incompatible couple?He had no income, and she wasn’t pattable.The four stages of a couple’s sex life:Under 35: Tri-weekly35-45: Try weekly45-55: Try weakly55 and over: Try, try, try.For much more, sneak between the covers of this unique and laugh-out-loud book.“Delightfully raunchy.” —Sidney Sheldon, #1 New York Times–bestselling author